(the) Jebbica

Sorry guys, but I was going to do this sooner via video, but I am still battling whatever this is that has kept me sick for the past two months.  So, I was waiting on my voice to get better, but it’s not looking like it’s going to.  Therefore, since I couldn’t possibly choose between all of the wonderful people who left comments on the giveaway page, I had to use random.org to choose.

Here’s how the numbers were assigned, since not everyone commented on the same page and I wanted to count their comment, and I didn’t want to count duplicate comments or my own comments:

1. Dan H.
2. Kate
3. Lindsey
4. Ashely
5. Kay (hi, Mom!)
6. John S.
7. Savanna
8. Daniel B.

Seriously? 8 people entered for a $50 card?  I used to get tons of comments for lesser prizes, like a Ne-Yo CD.  With this and all the $10 restaurant cards I’ve been able to email to people, and it being Christmas time, I’m amazed at the laziness or apathy of people.  I mean, if I were eligible, I would have loved to win something like that!  Especially if I knew my odds were going to be as good as one in EIGHT!  And like the people I sent restaurant cards to.  How much do you spend eating at Krystal? More than you probably should! You have the same chance to eat GOOD food at the same price you’d pay at Krystal, and all you have to do is print out a piece of paper that your good friend Jebbica was nice enough to send to you.  But most people have been like, “Wahh, that’s too much work!”  If you really are hungry, or you’d like a nice night out, it isn’t. Trust me. I’ve been out four times now on one of these restaurant certificates. One of the best things to ever happen to me (thanks again, Clark Howard!).  So, here I’ve gone off on another rant, but I will tell you what:  if you are one of the seven non-winners, and it isn’t too much of an inconvenience to print out a piece of paper, I will email you a $10 restaurant card to the restaurant of your choosing as a consolation prize. Sound good?  Just send your email address to jebbica@gmail.com before Christmas. 

Oh, we were picking a winner, weren’t we?  Well, I guess we will have to find out who it is after the jump!

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So, Lafayette, GA used to have two things going for it past 10 p.m.:  Wal-Mart, and Huddle House.  You’d go to Huddle House, eat some greasy food, shoot the shit, then head over to Wal-Mart, play in the Toy Department or just run around, then go back to the Huddle House, drink coffee, and watch traffic go by and play cards and smoke cigarettes and just spend the night catching up with old friends.  A big part of Lafayette died when the Huddle House shut down, and then the Wal-Mart started closing its doors at midnight.  There was nothing to do but stay home and have all-night moviethons and get drunk, which never quite led to the philosophical discussions that often took place inside those hallowed walls that smelled like waffles and bacon.

After several months of vacancy, the Huddle House is up and running again.  Except, it’s not the Huddle House anymore.  It’s a place called Redneck’s…run by two people from Oregon.

I was surprised to see how clean and neat it was when I went there yesterday.  The well-worn booths had been replaced by tables with flowers in vases, the salt and pepper shakers no longer had that familiar grime.  There was a glass display of desserts.  The waitresses were friendly.  On the walls, the owners had tried their best to make it look typical blue collar Southern, with framed photos of Native Americans, cowboy hats on walls, but it definitely had that feel of someone trying too hard.  The prices were good, and the food was decent, but I still can’t get past people from Oregon trying to sell us something here as our own.  It’s like if I went to Oregon and opened a restaurant with a buffalo and dysentery theme, because everything I learned about Oregon I learned from Oregon Trail.  Regardless, I want this business to succeed, because it’s open 24 hours a day, and this town really needs something like that.  So, in case the owners are reading, here are a few pointers:

• Southern sweet tea is one part tea bag, one part water, and eight parts sugar. Always home brewed, never instant.
• Country fried steak is NOT hamburger steak with sausage gravy on top.  While that was tasty, that is not what I ordered!
• If you’re going with the whole diner feel, you better serve hash browns all the time.
• I really liked my waitress, but she seemed so out of place brightly saying “Welcome to Redneck’s!” when we walked in and actually delivering good service.  She had all her teeth and wasn’t even knocked up.  I just didn’t know what to think.  I mean, your place is called Redneck’s, and I didn’t see any there. The waitress didn’t even try to tell us her life story!

I have never thought of myself personally as a redneck, but I feel like I’ve been around long enough to know what the typical diner crowd around here likes.  Mainly, they like loitering.  But I’m just saying, if you’re going to market to a specific bunch, maybe you should really get to know that bunch first.  Because the second the wrong person gets hamburger steak passed off as country fried steak, there’s liable to be a shootin’.   And that doesn’t make for good midnight conversation.

For mundane status updates, like what I’m doing with my life and for a living and all that jazz, check out my MySpace blog (you know you want to, cyber stalkers!)

Recently, I made a list of places to shop online for your girlfriend/wife (and what to get them once you’re there!) for Christmas.  Well, I have been chatting with all of the dudes in my life, and I think I am finally prepared enough to provide an educational list for the baffled girl who still isn’t quite sure what to get her boyfriend, fiance, or husband for Christmas.

If you are a woman, you’ve probably realized, men have expensive tastes!  It could be the most inane and useless gadget, and yet it more than likely costs hundreds of bucks.  When I did my list for women, I offered makeup ideas that cost $1 per item. Man, men really do have it easy!

Click to the next page to continue with the list.