Movie Review: ‘Twilight’
photo credit: Ezy Brenizzle
[digg-reddit-me]Perhaps I should begin my review of Twilight by mentioning that I’m 25-year-old woman. A woman who, as most women seem to, has a soft spot for moody, strong-but-silent, burdened by his curse, hot, sexy, vampires. The first time I fell in love with a vampire was when I was introduced to Angel, the sexy vampire with a soul on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I didn’t think there would ever be anyone better suited for Buffy…until Spike. He was even more tortured than Angel, and he had a British accent. Winner.
My recent vamp obsession has been Bill from True Blood. Same formula: a lone good vampire in a world of killers. Angel and Spike drank pig’s blood. Bill drinks a synthetic Japanese drink called “True Blood”. Why he doesn’t kill animals and drink their blood instead, I don’t know, but I’m guessing it’s because they wanted to be politically correct? True Blood was cheesy, not as good as Buffy/Angel by any means. But it brought back those days, and there was lots of T&A, swearing, and violence, so I came back week after week to see what would happen next. But now True Blood is over, and I need a new vampire boyfriend. I decided to see what all the fuss over Twilight was about.
I haven’t read the books yet, which I thought would make my movie-going experience more enjoyable. A lot of times you read a book, and the movie can never measure up. So, I thought if I saw the movie first, I wouldn’t have any expectations to make me feel like I had been ripped out of my $6.50 matinee fee. My first mistake is I went to see this movie with three guys. I’m just not a Girls’ Day Out kind of person. And I think they could possibly have been the only guys in the theater.
Twilight had the same formula as Buffy, Angel, and True Blood. A good vampire in a world of bad ones, hopelessly in love with a girl who was different from the rest. “And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.” A hot, sexy, moody vampire, who lived off of blood from animals, but had an undeniable thirst for his lover’s plasma.
We all found the movie to be ridiculously cheesy, and we found ourselves laughing out loud at some of the more alleged moody parts. When Edward, played by Robert Pattinson, first meets Bella, played by Kristen Stewart, he experiences some sort of “fang erection,” which he tries to hide with his hand. And there were scores of other supposed romantic scenes that seemed ripped out of a bad soap opera.
You also know it’s a movie written by a woman (Stephanie Meyer), for women, when the vampires stay out of the sunlight because when they do, instead of bursting into flames, they get all “sparkly”.
However, Pattinson’s hotness definitely transfers better on film than by photograph. He is sex personified. And every time socially awkward Edward could muster a smile, I felt my inner preteen screaming and I got weak in the knees.
The acting was good overall, but the writing was definitely lacking. And I felt myself getting seasick during more than one scene. The thing that will bring me back to watch a sequel is more Pattinson (and his makeup) doing more sexy things. I don’t know what the rest of the guys in my group had to look forward to next.
Did you have a different opinion from me? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments! I would love to hear why you liked or disliked this film.
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November 29th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
This is absolutely hilarious! I completely agree with you! But you really do need to read the books. They’re very good. I love love love the books and the movie is just a major disappointment. MAJOR disappointment.
Please read them!
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November 29th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
@ Cameron: Thanks, and I definitely will! My little sister is working on reading the books for the third time, and she said I could borrow them. She thinks Robert Pattinson is “dreamy”, and I have to agree!
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November 30th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
“The first time I fell in love with a vampire was when I was introduced to Angel, the sexy vampire with a soul on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”??
Really, most of my “girl” friends say that it was Kiefer Sutherland in The Lost Boys! Let’s do the math:
You’re 25. Born in 1983? The Lost Boys came out in 1987. You were 4. The VHS probably came out in 1988. You were 5. Buffy came out in 1997. You were 14.
Ahhh…starting to make sense now
*cough* hormones *cough*
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November 30th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
@ The Photoshopjunkie:
I haven’t seen The Lost Boys yet. Though the first time I fell in love with Kiefer Southerland was when I watched Flashback. Also, Dennis Hopper. They don’t always have to have fangs!
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December 1st, 2008 at 12:36 am
Watch “Let the Right One In” if you want to see a well written vampire film. It’s also got a sappy love story in it.
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December 1st, 2008 at 2:59 am
I think the movie was good. I think it had a nice feel to it, very natural. I don’t think the actors or the production people were going for cheesy I think they were going for sweet and simple. And you have to read the books:)
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December 1st, 2008 at 11:38 am
I half agree with you. The movie was entertaining enough for me to watch it and want to see the others. But it was absolutely nothing compared to the books. The books really are a fantastic series. Everyone should definitely read the series before they decide they’re not interested because of the movie.
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December 1st, 2008 at 2:12 pm
@ Nikki and Trisha: I will definitely get on that asap! I’ll watch the other movies, but I’m holding out faith that the books are better. Here’s to hopin’! :-p
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December 1st, 2008 at 6:20 pm
I did not see the movie or read any of the books, but they all have a HUGE thumbs up from me. I have yet to encounter a movie or book that puts my wife in such an amorous state.
Now I’m not one to question a good thing, but can anyone explain this phenomenon? Other guys I know have said the same thing about Twilight?
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December 1st, 2008 at 7:21 pm
@ David: I think there are some sort of hypnotic properties to the film/books. Like I said, I didn’t particularly find the movie to be that groundbreaking or even good, but it was a fun film to go see with the guys because it was funny, and it was a good one for the girls because: tall, dark, handsome…with fangs. Want to know how to woo a woman? Study Edward Cullen.
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December 7th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
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December 14th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
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January 4th, 2009 at 1:54 am
I think that this film would have seemed a lot better had it not received so much of the pre-release hype.
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January 17th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
i wonder what will be more successful/popular in the long run, Twilight or Harry Potter
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