“Oh, Jessica! Is that you? I almost didn’t recognize you. You’ve put some weight on!”

This is how I was greeted by someone today.  Yes, people do feel the need to be this frank with me.  Apparently, in life, I have learned that I just have this look on my face that says, please feel free to cut me down or just ignore me completely! And if you don’t believe the second part of that sentence, just ask anyone who has ever been out to eat with me. Who always asks questions to thin air? And who never, ever gets a refill? This girl!

Being told you look fat today does not do any favors towards guaranteeing you are going to have a pleasant and happy day, as I have unfortunately discovered.

Apparently, drama will occur even if there is no warrant for such.  For instance, with my day job, I have never wanted to give anyone an excuse to be upset with me because I wasn’t motivated to do my job.  I might only be part-time, but I have always made sure I get at least as much accomplished as the full-time help.  I was hired in a “helper”, which I took to mean that I was meant to help those who were too overloaded to complete their tasks.  When someone could use an extra hand, I’m there.  So today, I overhear two of my coworkers talking about some important letters that needed to be mailed TODAY, and they didn’t know how they were going to get the chance to get the task done. So, what do I do? I offer to do them.  I say, hey, I can help! I can have those envelopes printed off in less than three minutes.  Did I mention there were only eleven of them?  Not 300, like I am used to doing weekly for the Big Boss.  It should be a snap, and no trouble at all for me to get out for them.  So, because I am not actually lazy and I can’t be complained about on that account, one of the coworkers complains on me for wanting to help.  She laments that she might as well turn her notice in because I was trying to TAKE HER JOB.  If the only thing she has to do is print out ELEVEN ENVELOPES, I’d say her job is pretty unnecessary anyway, wouldn’t you?  So, sure. Go ahead and turn your notice in.  Maybe it will admonish some of those furlough days that we keep having. And maybe I could possibly see a benefit or two, like a holiday that doesn’t make me SOL come payday?

ELEVEN. ENVELOPES.

It’s days like today when I have to wonder, why am I one of those people who just can’t win for losing.  Some people can say and do anything they want, and everyone loves them.  I am timid. Careful about what I say.  I try to go about things the right way. And yet, I am the girl who gets pulled over the day her headlight decides to go out.  Who will never win anything. Who will manage to piss people off no matter how much crap she takes.  Why?  Will I have to learn how to adopt an I-Don’t-Give-a-Flying-You-Know-What attitude?  Just stop caring?  Stop introducing myself as, “Hi, I’m Jessica. I’m a doormat. Please feel free to berate me and steal my boyfriend.”?  Twenty-six years into this game, and I still haven’t figured out an answer.  There are a lot of questions to which I still don’t know the answer, when I thought that surely as I approached thirty wisdom would come.  Wisdom: my elusive friend. Come and play with me! My name is Jessica. I’m a doormat. Please feel free to berate me and steal my boyfriend.

Other Gems from Jeb

• Welcome to the Real World: At Least You Have a Job! (1)
• The Next Chapter (2)
• New Horizons (4)
• Fun With Google Translator (2)
• Happiness: The Ultimate Writer’s Block (1)