(the) Jebbica » Blog Archive

Baby Blues

I want a baby.

Like, really badly.

This all happened a few days ago when I turned twenty-six. Yes, twenty-six…the age girls in most of the world are celebrating single life and freedom, and the age girls in The South are about to be grand-mamas.

I was okay with being what I thought was level-headed and smart about it, but then even my own mom commented on how my biological clock should be ticking.

And it is. Do you hear it? Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

The more I try to push it out of my mind as being another phase I’m going through, the more I think about that movie, Idiocracy. The movie starts out with two couples. Couple A are intelligent and normal, and Couple B are a couple of beer-swilling rednecks. Couple A keeps putting off chances to procreate, citing they want to be financially stable, etc. Meanwhile, Couple B just starts having babies right after another one and lets Welfare do the rest. Before you know it, all the intelligent and normal genes in the world have become extinct, and the world is full of ignorant morons. And while I have my share of flaws, I’d have to say that over all, I’ve come to think of myself as okay. I don’t think I would do too badly in the parenting department or have anything really heinous that I could pass on to future spawn.

It doesn’t help that Buffy just had puppies and I am obsessed with them. But now that there are six dogs in the house counting the puppies, it still doesn’t feel like enough. There’s something missing.

I can make lists all day of pros and cons. Sure, there’s the fact that you will never get your body back after having a baby. And recently, people have been taking pictures of my boobs and seem really interested in them. Why? I don’t know. Maybe because I went from being flat-chested to having gigantic ones overnight, and there was no surgery involved. I can’t say I really mind them too much, but it also isn’t enough to make me miss them if I lost them to rearing a child. And on the other side of the coin, people always ask me if I’m pregnant. Hell, I might as well have an excuse!

Even being around my sister’s son, Zeke (pictured in his Halloween costume: isn’t he so cute?), isn’t working as birth control anymore. He’s absolutely adorable and I love him dearly, but you know about the cute ones: they’re monsters! Generally, after spending a little time with him, I go home and thank my lucky stars that I have dogs instead. But even when he said “Bleck!” when I asked him if he loved me the other day, it didn’t do anything to hamper my baby blues.

So, is this a passing phase, or will this only get worse as the clock keeps ticking by? I’m not sure I can say. But if it happens, I have things at least partially planned out. In a spreadsheet.