So, Lafayette, GA used to have two things going for it past 10 p.m.:  Wal-Mart, and Huddle House.  You’d go to Huddle House, eat some greasy food, shoot the shit, then head over to Wal-Mart, play in the Toy Department or just run around, then go back to the Huddle House, drink coffee, and watch traffic go by and play cards and smoke cigarettes and just spend the night catching up with old friends.  A big part of Lafayette died when the Huddle House shut down, and then the Wal-Mart started closing its doors at midnight.  There was nothing to do but stay home and have all-night moviethons and get drunk, which never quite led to the philosophical discussions that often took place inside those hallowed walls that smelled like waffles and bacon.

After several months of vacancy, the Huddle House is up and running again.  Except, it’s not the Huddle House anymore.  It’s a place called Redneck‘s…run by two people from Oregon.

I was surprised to see how clean and neat it was when I went there yesterday.  The well-worn booths had been replaced by tables with flowers in vases, the salt and pepper shakers no longer had that familiar grime.  There was a glass display of desserts.  The waitresses were friendly.  On the walls, the owners had tried their best to make it look typical blue collar Southern, with framed photos of Native Americans, cowboy hats on walls, but it definitely had that feel of someone trying too hard.  The prices were good, and the food was decent, but I still can’t get past people from Oregon trying to sell us something here as our own.  It’s like if I went to Oregon and opened a restaurant with a buffalo and dysentery theme, because everything I learned about Oregon I learned from Oregon Trail.  Regardless, I want this business to succeed, because it’s open 24 hours a day, and this town really needs something like that.  So, in case the owners are reading, here are a few pointers:

• Southern sweet tea is one part tea bag, one part water, and eight parts sugar. Always home brewed, never instant.
• Country fried steak is NOT hamburger steak with sausage gravy on top.  While that was tasty, that is not what I ordered!
• If you’re going with the whole diner feel, you better serve hash browns all the time.
• I really liked my waitress, but she seemed so out of place brightly saying “Welcome to Redneck’s!” when we walked in and actually delivering good service.  She had all her teeth and wasn’t even knocked up.  I just didn’t know what to think.  I mean, your place is called Redneck’s, and I didn’t see any there. The waitress didn’t even try to tell us her life story!

I have never thought of myself personally as a redneck, but I feel like I’ve been around long enough to know what the typical diner crowd around here likes.  Mainly, they like loitering.  But I’m just saying, if you’re going to market to a specific bunch, maybe you should really get to know that bunch first.  Because the second the wrong person gets hamburger steak passed off as country fried steak, there’s liable to be a shootin’.   And that doesn’t make for good midnight conversation.

For mundane status updates, like what I’m doing with my life and for a living and all that jazz, check out my MySpace blog (you know you want to, cyber stalkers!)

Other Gems from Jeb

• Welcome to the Real World: At Least You Have a Job! (1)
• JustMySize Review and $500 Giveaway! (357)
• Stuff I Love: Health and Beauty Products (0)
• Can I Just Rant about Hipsters for a Little Bit? (3)
• The Next Chapter (2)