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Recipe for Disaster

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Step One: Decide that you would like to make cupcakes for the first time in your life.

Step Two: Realize that you don’t have any cupcake liners, so you just Pam the pans instead.

Step Three: Remove 21 cupcake top-halves from pan because the bottom is still stuck-on, and set on tray.

Step Four: Frost cupcakes using the “artificial cream cheese icing” that has been sitting in your cabinet for about four years.

Step Five: Notice that said icing smells like Play-Doh, but continue to frost.

Step Six: Get nauseous from Play-Doh smell and lick the icing off your finger. Realize that it doesn’t actually taste like Play-Doh; it tastes like glue.

Step Seven: Make a giant mess scraping icing off the cupcakes and into the trash. You can clean the mess out of the floor by having a couple of Maltese who are anticipating every crumb you drop.

Step Eight: Look up some recipes for buttercream icing using the ingredients you already have in the kitchen.

Step NIne: Follow recipe exactly, only to have a curdled mess.

Step Ten: Heat up icing to melt curdles, then repeat.

Step Eleven: Realize that a project you started at 11:00 p.m. has kept you up until 5 in the morning and you still aren’t any closer to having a cupcake.

Step Twelve: Say some bad words, then throw in the towel and go to bed.