(the) Jebbica

So, who’s excited about the new season of American Idol? I’m a little bit jaded since the space between last season’s finale and now have given our MOST! TALENTED! EVER! group of American Idols from last season ample time to fade into obscurity. All of ‘em. Even that Lambert guy doesn’t make the news much. Oh, what’s that you say? He simulated fellatio on a national music awards program? Oh, okay. But has anyone heard any of his music? Because I watched that video, and all I heard was “Eeeeeeyaaahhhhaaaaaahhheeeeeeeeeehhh!!!!!!!!” and other subsequent phrasings. In fact, I have not heard a single song by one of Season 8’s Idols.

So, it’s another year, another winner. But is it going to matter? Won’t I be more excited about the return of Glee? Wasn’t Anoop Desai my waiter the other night? (What was he thinking, anyway? An Indian-American Idol? He had to have known it was going to come down to three white guys, therefore meaning he could only be a novelty. America! Melting Pot! Huh!)

But, there’s still fun in watching.  The auditions!  The sob stories! The getting to know someone we didn’t know before, and growing to love/hate them! And oh, am I forgetting something?  Oh yes.

ELLEN!!

So, I will have to change up my writing style on Idol Mania this year. Last year recapping went like this:

Simon:  Absolutely horrific. I would rather put my unborn baby’s hand in a blender than have to reduce myself to this rubbish.

Randy:  Yeeeaah, dawg!  You worked it OUT! Little pitchy, though.

Kara: no one cares about Kara’s opinion. NEXT!

Paula:  You were like a adijf daidfjaodfjidfj adfodfjdofj……………(drool)…………kadfjlakfjd………..ladkfjlakjf……???……adkfladkfja…….really nice.

Now, I will have to try to put actual syllables together and make sense of them as being some sort of critique.  Will Ellen become a cartoon character like the rest of them have? Will she have little catchphrases that she will use time and time again?  Well, I guess that is just the fun in finding out! Season Nine: I can’t wait to see what you have in store for me.  My blogging fingers are ready. And hopefully, you will be here to agree with me or curse my opinion, but you will be reading*!

Jebbica, OUT!

*You can check out all my Idol ramblings at Idol Mania.

This website has looked the same for over a year now, so I thought it would be a good time for a change.  Hopefully it’s a good change and isn’t making you say, “Oww, oww, my eyes!!”  Trust me.  I’ve toned the colors down quite a bit!  Anyway, hope you enjoy.  I’m a little late on this, but I’m hoping to have the male/female Christmas gift guides up soon, so be sure to stay tuned for that.

xoxo J

Okay, so say your best friend just so happened to take a photo of a guy in a Sponge Bob Square Pants suit getting arrested yesterday.  And then she showed it to you. And you are all like, OMG! This pic will totally be internet-famous!  And for a second, it feels like winning the lottery.

Until she says that she promised the cop that the photo would not go on the internet.

But really, how can one make that promise? I would have gotten arrested myself, to not have to promise. And it wouldn’t have been a true promise if it hadn’t been in writing. Not like he can legally do anything to her, anyway…right?

But even worse, I have this gem, and I am supposed to keep it to myself.  And I just want to know…HOW?!  I know I should be a good friend, but what kind of friend asks this of someone? It’s as if she gave me a million dollars but then made me promise I wouldn’t spend any of it.

So, happy birthday, Cabbie. Your ultimate gift is I will try to keep your WIN to myself. But I’m not going to sign anything!