(the) Jebbica

So, Lafayette, GA used to have two things going for it past 10 p.m.:  Wal-Mart, and Huddle House.  You’d go to Huddle House, eat some greasy food, shoot the shit, then head over to Wal-Mart, play in the Toy Department or just run around, then go back to the Huddle House, drink coffee, and watch traffic go by and play cards and smoke cigarettes and just spend the night catching up with old friends.  A big part of Lafayette died when the Huddle House shut down, and then the Wal-Mart started closing its doors at midnight.  There was nothing to do but stay home and have all-night moviethons and get drunk, which never quite led to the philosophical discussions that often took place inside those hallowed walls that smelled like waffles and bacon.

After several months of vacancy, the Huddle House is up and running again.  Except, it’s not the Huddle House anymore.  It’s a place called Redneck’s…run by two people from Oregon.

I was surprised to see how clean and neat it was when I went there yesterday.  The well-worn booths had been replaced by tables with flowers in vases, the salt and pepper shakers no longer had that familiar grime.  There was a glass display of desserts.  The waitresses were friendly.  On the walls, the owners had tried their best to make it look typical blue collar Southern, with framed photos of Native Americans, cowboy hats on walls, but it definitely had that feel of someone trying too hard.  The prices were good, and the food was decent, but I still can’t get past people from Oregon trying to sell us something here as our own.  It’s like if I went to Oregon and opened a restaurant with a buffalo and dysentery theme, because everything I learned about Oregon I learned from Oregon Trail.  Regardless, I want this business to succeed, because it’s open 24 hours a day, and this town really needs something like that.  So, in case the owners are reading, here are a few pointers:

• Southern sweet tea is one part tea bag, one part water, and eight parts sugar. Always home brewed, never instant.
• Country fried steak is NOT hamburger steak with sausage gravy on top.  While that was tasty, that is not what I ordered!
• If you’re going with the whole diner feel, you better serve hash browns all the time.
• I really liked my waitress, but she seemed so out of place brightly saying “Welcome to Redneck’s!” when we walked in and actually delivering good service.  She had all her teeth and wasn’t even knocked up.  I just didn’t know what to think.  I mean, your place is called Redneck’s, and I didn’t see any there. The waitress didn’t even try to tell us her life story!

I have never thought of myself personally as a redneck, but I feel like I’ve been around long enough to know what the typical diner crowd around here likes.  Mainly, they like loitering.  But I’m just saying, if you’re going to market to a specific bunch, maybe you should really get to know that bunch first.  Because the second the wrong person gets hamburger steak passed off as country fried steak, there’s liable to be a shootin’.   And that doesn’t make for good midnight conversation.

For mundane status updates, like what I’m doing with my life and for a living and all that jazz, check out my MySpace blog (you know you want to, cyber stalkers!)

“Why should we hire you?”

It sounds simple enough.  But when going into a job interview, it’s often one of the questions with which I really struggle.  I am someone who is really awkward around new people, especially people who could be in charge of me.  On one hand, I want to make a good impression, look nice, smile a lot, make eye contact, etc.  I want to show that I’ve done my homework on the company and know things that they wouldn’t expect me to already know. I want my resume to be shiny and full of things for which they are looking.  On the other hand, even after I’ve studied, researched, and practiced, something about my mind turns to Jell-O when it comes to talking about…me.

“Because, I…uh…uh…what was the question again?”

I got a call today for an interview next week. The job is receptionist at a place that, as far as I can tell, council people who are addicted to drugs or are mentally handicapped and work on getting people medicine and therapy that they couldn’t necessarily pay for otherwise.  It’s a government job, so the hours and pay are both nice.  So, what will I have to offer them?

In case you are in the same boat, here are a few of the right and wrong answers to this very unnerving question:

Wrong Answers:

“Because I need a job.” — This answer is about YOU — “they” want to know what you can do for “them.”

“I am a hard worker.” — This is a really trite answer — almost anyone can say he or she is a hard worker.

“I saw your ad and could do the job.” — This answers lacks passion and purpose.

Better Answers:

“Because I have three years experience working with customers in a very similar environment.”

“Because I have what it takes to fill the requirements of this job – solve customer problems using my excellent customer service skills.”

“Because I have the experience and expertise in the area of customer support that is required in this position.”

Check out more here so you hopefully won’t end up at the Jebbica School of Bombing Interviews!  If nothing else, you could take a cue from Kenny Powers and answer, “Because I’m the best motherf*cker in the world. I am better than all y’all. No one is better than me!”

If at first you don’t succeed, then maybe you just suck.

photo credit: Freddy The Boy

I know, it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these! Actually, it’s been awhile since I’ve really posted anything on here. Things have been…crazy lately.  Car has been getting worked on for two weeks, but I’m rarely at home, and I’m still job-searching, and even though I did really well on my Census test, I still haven’t heard back from them. Must be that pesky criminal background check; I am such an outlaw!  Anyway, I have been listening to a lot of remakes of songs lately, so here are some remakes that are just as good as their originals (if not better!)

Monday: Kings of Leon: Knocked Up (Original)

Tuesday: Lykke Li: Knocked Up (Remix)

Wednesday: Peter Schilling: Major Tom (Coming Home) (Original)

Thursday: Shiny Toy Guns: Major Tom (Remake) (Free mp3 on Shiny Toy Guns’ home page…linked here)

Friday: Tears for Fears: Mad World (Original)

Saturday: Gary Jules: Mad World (Remake) (Also remade this week by Adam Lambert on American Idol)

Sunday: Justice: Get On Your Boots (U2 Remix, but I’m sure you’ve heard the U2 version by now!)