(the) Jebbica

That was the question posed to me this week.  It was the second day into my eating better regime, and my eyes started welling up. “Yes I’m sure!  See, this is why I’m on a diet!”

I might have been just a tad cranky, seeing as it was my second day without bread or sugar.  I was feeling the withdrawals and wasn’t even getting any compliments on my new svelte appearance.  I mean, that is how it works, right?  You go on a diet, and you’re instantly thin!

Yeah, not so much. 

Regardless, it was that comment that could have torn me down, could have sent me home wallowing in a bowl of homemade ice cream, but this time, it had the opposite effect.  No this time, I have a food journal spreadsheet instead of just a little notebook.  I am armored with every nutritional fact of every item in every restaurant within a 50-mile radius.  I am going to use that comment as my motivation to succeed, so that I finally won’t get that dreaded question anymore. 

One week in, and things are going much more smoothly than they were the second day.  The first days were hard, as I have documented in my hand-written journal.  After the third day though, I started to feel better.  Letting go of most of the horrible things I have been putting into my body as of late has been nothing but good for me.  I am already slimming down at a higher-than-expected pace!  Out with the processed foods, the white bread, pasta, and rice, and in with tons of veggies, fruits, egg whites, low-fat cheese, and brown carbs.  What do my friends and family have to say about this?  “Oh, but wouldn’t a Killer Potato sound so good right now?”  “Honey, I left you a cheesecake in your fridge.”  Gee, thanks.  But this time, I’m not going to let that deter me.  I am in the first week of what is going to be a lifestyle change for me.  I joined Buddy Slim, an online support group.  I played tennis today. Everything that tempted me a week ago already seems gross to me.  I feel better than I have in awhile.  And I plan on things staying that way…minus a dress size or two!

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Tags: Dieting, fitness, free weight loss support groups, Humor, losing weight, online support groups, Weight loss

I am a damn good bargain hunter.

I can find the best things for the lowest prices, and that’s not necessarily a brag.  Lately, bargain hunting has become expensive.

It all started when I got the call saying I had gotten the job.  It’s one of the only jobs for which I wouldn’t have to wear a uniform, in a professional environment, and I have spent the last three years as a pajama blogger.  I needed a new wardrobe.

I’m not particularly like most women in that I’m not a name brand junkie.  Granted, if I have to choose between a pair of Wal-Mart pants and a pair of designer pants and they’re the same price, chances are I’ll go with the designer pants because they’re probably more well-made.  Why pay $12 for a new pair of Juicy Couture jeans from Rugged Wearhouse (my Achilles Heel!) when I can pay $5 for a new pair of Limited jeans? I’m pretty sure I’ll get my share of wear out of the Limited jeans, and hey! I can buy two pairs!

I set out with a specific blend of clothing in mind.  A few black, brown, and gray dress pants, capris, and skirts, that I could mix and match with different dressy tops.  So one day, the capris were half-off at Goodwill.  Usually I can’t find shit in Goodwill, but I have been suspiciously lucky as of late.  I found two pairs of black dressy name-brand capris, a black pinstriped pair, two khaki-colored dressy pairs, and a plaid pair.  Capris that would look cute with tights or hose and dress shoes.  $12 for six pairs of pants.  Then the pants went half-off.  I found about the same assortment: a couple of dark brown, a couple of black, a pinstriped, and a plaid.  $12 more.  But they also had a Luis Vuitton bag for $7 that looked nice, so I went ahead and splurged.  I had assumed it was fake, but when I got it home and looked it up, it was real and retailed for around $1500! So pretty good splurge, I’d say.  And yes, $7 on a pocketbook is a splurge to me.  I couldn’t imagine spending $1500 for one. I could buy a car for that. Then skirts went half-off. Got a black one, a pin-striped one, and two patterned ones.  $8.  Found another pair of long brown dress pants at Peebles that were really-well made, retailed at $58, bought them for $5. In addition to the couple of pairs of gouchos, capris, pants, and skirts I already owned, I was good on bottoms.

I tried to think about what people wore “in the office”.  Dressy button-ups and blouses, etc.  Attic Treasures, another thrift store, was selling button-ups for $0.25.  I bought THIRTY of them.  Granted, out of those 30, only about 10 of them fit.  But they were $0.25 apiece, and I wasn’t about to try on 30 shirts in the store.  I could give away or redonate the rest.  Meanwhile, while all of the tops and bottoms shopping was taking place, I was hunting for “dressy but comfortable” shoes.  $3 here, $4 there, $0.50 another place.  They’re not Jimmy Choos, but I found quite a few new pairs, Anne Klein, Steve Madden, nothing too worn or cheap.  Just fine for me.  Wound up with about 20 pairs of dress shoes.  Really, who needs that many?

Then I went to Rugged Wearhouse for undershirts and blouses.  And that is the place that has really got me!  In case you don’t know, Rugged Wearhouse is a store that sells new clothes that stores in the mall had leftover or couldn’t sell for whatever reason.  And they sell it for cheap.  They’ll have tank tops and cute shirts that came from Express, Urban Outfitters, etc. for $1.99.  But wait, the bras are on clearance for $2?  And they’re well-made supporting bras?!  That never happens!  Okay, I’ll buy…all of the ones in my size.  Panties are $1?  $100 and 40 bras and 20 pairs of panties later….  It is just impossible not to leave with a big bag of stuff from there.  I have been there at least 10 times in the past month, and left with a heavy sack and lighter wallet each time.  Blouses, Nikes marked down to $15, underwear, tank tops, socks, jeans.  And The Boyfriend is even worse there than I am, because he can find even more high-end stuff in the men’s section if he looks hard enough. Case-in-point:  most of the girls’ $7 jeans are from Old Navy.  The Boyfriend can get Jean Paul Damage (dah-mahhzjjjhh) jeans for $7.  Bags and bags of new clothes, and nowhere to put them.

THEN we discovered Shepherd’s Helper’s Thrift Store, in the town just outside ours.  They also get new stuff and sell it for cheap.  We bought two practically new bikes and a bike rack: total, $20.  They have a “fill a bag for a dollar” table (no!!).  Yesterday, they had a big bag of “new but damaged” items from Rue 21.  I figured if there was one or two things I could wear out of it, it would be worth it and my sister would like the rest.  After all, who cares if there’s a little tear where the tag is? That’s what Mighty Mend-it is for! As I am checking out and begging the cashier not to let me come in again, she says, “oh, did you see all the tights and jewelry and stuff that they sent over? Everything’s new and less than $1!  I. Bought. All of it.  On the bright side, Christmas for my sisters is covered!

At this point, The Boyfriend and I have an entire new wardrobe and have spent around $300, which is good by anyone’s standards.  I mean, nothing we have gotten looks shabby or “thrift store-y” because we both only seek out treasures.  But we only have a two bedroom duplex. Clothes are taking over!  Where will they go?  For the first time in years, I am having to set aside my own Goodwill donation bags, which is so hard for me because I get sentimental thinking about what I was doing when I wore that shirt in the eigth grade. And that is just sad.

New rule:  we are not going shopping anymore! We have stockpiles of enough health and beauty products and cleaning supplies (coupons!), food (ad matches), and clothing to get us through World War III.  If I go out again, someone please stage an intervention!  Oh, what’s that? The Boyfriend is wanting to go hit Lost and Found Baggage because they are selling brand new Macy’s towels for $2.50?

Shit.

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Tags: Dieting, fitness, free weight loss support groups, Humor, losing weight, online support groups, Weight loss

Don’t you love when one family or person decides to open two separate businesses in one building?  Most of them around here are pretty uninteresting: Thrift Store and Country Cooking, Bookstore and Grocery, etc.

But every now and then, a joint business opens up that just makes you say, WTF?!

I thought Kenny’s Bible and Tire was bad, but that was nothing until I saw Prince & Sons Crematory and BBQ.

You kill ‘em, we’ll grill ‘em!

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Tags: Dieting, fitness, free weight loss support groups, Humor, losing weight, online support groups, Weight loss